We're quoting the WSJ. Are we highbrow yet?

In its article on the alleged soccer revolution coming to the United States (I hear the Cosmos are selling a lot of tickets. ZING!), the Wall Street Journal recounts what can only be described as a quintessential NYC interaction between the natives and the FC Barcelona soccer team (if Real Madrid is Spain's Yankees, Barcelona are the Red Sox):

During its U.S. tour last summer, FC Barcelona held a training session one evening in Central Park. The team, including superstar Thierry Henry, practiced in a part of the park’s North Meadow that serves as the outfield for several softball fields. As warm-ups began so did the calls from the clueless nearby beer league softball games for Barcelona to “Get the ---- off the field.”

A "manly mascot" from, where else, Australia

This is what happens when Jews try to dance down the wedding aisle

And you wonder why people hate us.

Face it, other countries' commercials are funnier

Sleepy or dopey?

A Price Is Right classic

Walking down the aisle to Chris Brown doesn't exactly portend a long and happy marriage

Someone posted this video of their wedding 4 days ago and it already has over 1 million hits:

Mets' mascot's crotch fights fence, loses.

Even the Mets' minor league mascot can't get anything right.

Chainsaws + Stupid People = Comedic Gold

Have a good night

Let's go with Michael Jackson one more time. Although he's quite clearly lip-synching, this performance is historically notable for being the first time he publicly performed the moonwalk:

"Frosty Dipplers" and other unappetizing names for donut holes

I've been alerted to these other Hardee's commercials for their new doughnut holes:







I think there are some others, but you're probably already sufficiently nauseous at this point.

Hat tip: Juan.

Hardee's says "give us your poor, your tired, your a-holes...."

Unfortunately, there is almost no chance this is real, but if it is, I think we have a new clubhouse leader for funny commercials:

"Bouncing around like a pogo stick on Viagra"

I don't know what this coach is talking about, but I'm getting motivated anyways:

Sadly, this guy probably makes more money than you do

Letterman had the famous batting stance imitation guy on last night and he didn't disappoint:


From Awful Announcing.

Bud Light: purveyor of un-aired sexism since... I don't know when

A Bud Light commercial that never aired:


From Dan.

DUI truly is the international language

Thanks to Josh for the pointer.

I have seen the future, and it has a mustache

Hat tip to Shayna.

The Maccabiah Games start next week, but you knew that already

Deadspin covers the Maccabiah Games today. It starts with "[T]he Maccabiah Games bring together 7,000 of the world's best Jewish athletes to satisfy their insatiable lust for gold. Whoa. That came out wrong." It's all downhill from there. As you might expect, the comments to the post are pretty hilarious. Here's a sample: "All swimming heats start at least one hour after lunch."

Sweep the groin

If you're a soccer coach, it's probably best not to practice your karate while an opposing player is running past.

Toodles

Sorry about the lack of posts of late. Nothing has particularly tickled me. In the meantime, here's some more music:

Watch out for black bears

Supposedly, this report is from a real newscast. I have my doubts, but if it is kudos to the producer who let them air it. Unrelatedly, if you have any job leads for a former nightly news producer, feel free to pass them along.

Another day in the books

Here's a great find of Bruce, from long before he was famous:

Another Hitler video. This time with feeling (and Michael Jackson).

Strong language here:

"Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make.....damn it!"

Courtesy of these guys.